XME RAP BATTLES!
by SuperSandri
Summary: Two X-men: Evolution characters take part in the most dangerous battle ever. A rap battle.  Newest battle: Scarlet Witch vs Rogue.
1. Nightcrawler vs Toad

**X-men Evolution rap battles**

**BATTLE ONE: NIGHTCRAWLER VS TOAD!**

Any stage could be a stage, from the Broadway stage in New York to a few 2x4s supporting a sheet of plywood. This stage happened to be at Bayville highs auditorium. A small crowd of people sat in the seats. Scratch that, a small crowd of mutants sat in the seats.

Evan Daniels manned the DJ booth as Todd Tolensky waited on the stage. "Where is he?" Toad asked. "I'm getting impatient."

"Hold on Kermit," Evan started. "Give him some time to prepare."

_**(Meanwhile in the dressing room…)**_

Kurt Wagner splashed some cold water on his face. He wiped off the excess as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He took a deep breath and mumbled to himself, "I can do this…."

Kurt heard the door open, it was Scott. "Kurt, it's time to go."

"I am ready," Kurt said as his pulled on his jacket. "Let's do this."

They joined hands.

_**BAMF!**_

The two X-men appeared on the stage, the crowd cheered at their appearance.

Scott took a seat in the crowd while Kurt stepped up on stage. He glared at Todd, "Evan, play me a beat!"

Evan fumbled with the DJ equipment before a mellow hip hop tune spread into the auditorium.

Kurt went first…

_**You call yourself a hero? Well that's just fun.**_

_**I'll tell you Todd, the only thing you are is a zero. **_

_**You're power sucks. I dunno why you brag. **_

_**The only thing to brag about is being a fag!**_

_**Don't try to defend yourself you little tweep. **_

_**Now go back to your mommy and pray she'll let you weep!**_

"BURNNNN!" Evan exclaimed.

Todd grumbled a bit, "Grrr…. Yo fuzzy ass, lemme show you how it's done."

_**Kurt, you are ugly, you're a fuzzy else. **_

_**So fuzzy you won't ever touch yourself. **_

_**You make the noise, but I know it ain't true**_

_**Cuz a Bad-ass-motherfucker definitely ain't you. **_

_**And girls don't dig the fuzzy dude. **_

_**You know what you don't have, attitude!**_

Kurt didn't let that hurt him, he moved forward and gave it another shot.

_**Don't act like I'm the one who's ugly. **_

_**Look at yourself bitch, you're fuckin' fugly. **_

_**You claim you shower, like once a month. **_

_**So take your dirty ass to hell you motherfucking cunt. **_

_**I'm one-of-a-kind bitch, you never seen nothing like me! **_

_**In a bamf! I'm in a boat, in my room, or on a tree!**_

_**I also have a tail, you can't top that. **_

_**So beat it bitch, or Imma gonna hit you with a bat!**_

The audience whooped at Kurt's performance.

Pietro sped up to Todd, "Toad, I think you better throw in the towel, the X-geek is winning!"

Todd didn't listen at all, "Naw naw! It's cool. Gimme one more try."

_**Nightcrawler, Nightcrawler, one of a kind you say?**_

_**The only unique thng about you is that you're gay!**_

_**I may not be handsome, small or tall. **_

_**But all I know is that your fuzzy cock is small!**_

_**Try to date Kitty dude, c'mon, I dare ya!**_

_**Oh, you can't. Because dating girls will scare ya!**_

"Oh yeah, that got him!" Todd cheered. "Yeah, looks like I'm winning."

Kurt let out a devilish smile, "Oh yeah? The beat's almost done, and I have the last word."

_**Hey Todd, who's that girl you're really fond of? **_

_**You know you've lost your chance with her, you'll never date Wanda. **_

_**Unlike you, I'm a part of my team. All you are on yours is the comic relief. **_

_**You only claim that, you ain't funny at all!**_

_**Looks like the fuzzy elf wins after all!**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT?<strong>_

A/N: This fanfiction was inspired by NicePeter's Epic Rap battles of history, I am admitting that now, so don't give me crap for that. Also, I might be writing more Rap battles between XME characters, so leave a review telling me who will be next. One more thing, I might just write the rap itself without giving it a backstory, but that's only if I can't think of one.

_**Disclaimer: I do not own XME at all. **_


	2. Scarlet Witch vs Rogue

**Scarlet Witch Vs. Rogue**

"Rogue, follow Wanda!" Cyclops ordered as he shot an optic blast at Blob, which easily proved in-effective.

"Where is the Scarlet Bitch?" Rogue said as she looked around.

"Over there!" Jean said as she pointed to roof of an old building.

_**BAMF!**_

Nightcrawler appeared beside Rogue, "C'mon, I'll take you up!"

The two joined hands...

_**BAMF!**_

Scarlet Witch stopped as Nightcrawler and Rogue teleported in front of her. "Stop right there Vanda!" Nightcrawler exclaimed.

Wanda didn't let win that quickly, she aimed her hands and him and shot out a blue hex bolt.

_**POW!**_

"WAH!" The hexbolt sent the fuzzy elf flying off the roof.

_**BAMF!**_

Thankfully, he teleported away, but not back to the roof.

"Looks like I scared the fuzzy freak away!" Wanda said with a smile. "I guess I'm gonna get away after all."

Rogue begged to differ, "Oh, yeah? What about me?"

"You?" Wanda answered, almost insulted. "You're power is just a painful touch, that's like poking me with a fork."

Rogue felt her temper boil, "Well Scarlet Witch, ah can prove ya wrong!"

_**Look what the scaly blue nympho dragged back from the insane. **_

_**A crazy short haired lesbian who's always in pain.**_

_**You think your power's strong? You gotta be kidding me!**_

_**The only cool thing you can do is re-invent glee. **_

_**You're hairdo sucks. Like seriously! You chose that?**_

_**I'd rather see you with no hair even though you'd look like crap. **_

"You did not just go there!" Wanda said repulsed. "You did not just insult my hair!"

"Maybe Ah did!" Rogue taunted.

_**All right Rogue, lemme show you how it's done!**_

_**...**_

_**Don't look at me like I'm a mental bitch. **_

_**Rogue, you can't touch me! I'm the motherfuckin' Scarlet Witch!**_

_**I can knock people off buildings over 20 stories tall. **_

_**The only thing you can do is take Jean Grey's many falls!**_

_**You see that Gambit guy? I bet he has a crush on you.**_

_**But bitch, you know you can't love him cuz he can't touch you.**_

Rogue gave Wanda the evil eye, "You're despicable Maximoff."

"I'm aware," Wanda replied with a smile.

Rogue took a deep breath and spoke again:

_**Can't touch me girl! Can't touch me Wanda!**_

_**I think I know this guy who you're really fond of. **_

_**It's Nightcrawler, right? Of course it is witch!**_

_**But he'd never love you, cuz you're a fuckin' little bitch.**_

_**What's wrong Wanda? Can't take it anymore? **_

_**That's surprising coming from the Brotherhood whore!**_

Wanda's conscience spoke to her, _"Fight back Wanda, you can do this." _

_**I'm the Scarlet Witch! You can't beat my rhymes. **_

_**I'm only up here to beat an X-men ass a second time. **_

_**You look stressed girl, feeling lonely at all? **_

_**I will destroy you like I did with the Bayville mall!**_

_**While you spend your time whoring around with Wolverine**_

_**I'll be causing chaos leaving the X-men with crime scenes! **_

_**WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? **_

A/n: Wanda and Rogue weren't just chosen cuz I felt like it. They were requested by 3 people: The Odd One95, Fox of The Blood Moon, and Rose235b. So keep requesting!

Disclaimer: When the f*ck will I ever own?


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